Simitian pushes back on domestic violence myths, urges County assistance

SAN JOSE – Santa Clara County Supervisor Joe Simitian says he’s heard the myths about domestic violence, “for years and years. People say, ‘Oh, it’s not really a problem in comfortable communities, places that are middle class or prosperous.’ And that’s just flat out wrong. It may be under-reported, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t happening. It is, and too many victims suffer in silence.” In fact, notes Simitian, “Abuse by perpetrators who are more affluent, more sophisticated, can be particularly hard to confront and combat.”

To help those who are confronting spousal abuse or domestic violence in our area, Simitian is proposing County support for WomenSV, or Women Silicon Valley, which specifically supports women facing intimate partner violence from abusers who use financial, emotional, legal, and technological means of coercion and control.

This new funding would allow WomenSV to serve more clients by hiring staff advocates to handle increasing client volume and strengthening its organizational infrastructure. This includes using outside consulting services to identify best practices in serving domestic violence survivors, leadership practices, and long-term organizational sustainability. Both are critical pieces for the organization as it reaches its tenth year of existence. 

“By bolstering this program, women and families will have improved access to these critical services. WomenSV has expertise to help women who are facing dangerous and restrictive/oppressive circumstances,” said Simitian.   

Simitian notes that while the one-time grant of $250,000 is relatively modest, “it can be leveraged to do a lot of good.” WomenSV has committed to matching the County’s contribution through community fundraising. The funds will be disbursed over a three-year period.

According to the U.S. Department of Justice, 95 percent of reported spousal assaults are committed by men against women. About 17 percent of women report experiencing physical or sexual violence during pregnancy. As of January 2021, covert abuse and coercive control have been formally recognized within the definition of domestic violence (SB 1141, FC 6320).

Ruth Darlene, Founder & Executive Director of WomenSV, received the Midpen Media Center’s Hero Award just last month.  She notes, “The public acknowledgement of coercive control as a form of domestic violence has resulted in a significant increase in request for our services. Not only are more survivors contacting us for support, but other non-profits, government and partner agencies are requesting education and training on coercive control.”

Darlene continued, “The support being championed by Supervisor Simitian will allow WomenSV to continue to provide vital services to domestic abuse survivors and meet the increased demand by hiring additional staff. As we embark on our second decade, we are excited about the opportunity to partner with external consultants to invest in our organizational infrastructure, specifically developing WomenSV’s leadership to ensure our long-term ability to meet the needs of the community.”

WomenSV Board Member Roy Lave is a former Los Altos Mayor and Executive Director Emeritus of the Los Altos Community Foundation.  Lave notes he is, “particularly pleased that a significant portion of the grant is dedicated to organizational development. This is just what we need to help WomenSV grow and strengthen so it’s a resource for area women in the years to come.”

Since its founding in 2011, WomenSV reports it has served over 1,000 women, helping them to build paths to healthier lives for themselves and their children. WomenSV provides one-on-one counseling, group counseling, referrals to specialty services, support addressing basic needs, and connections to other domestic violence agencies as needed.

WomenSV also provides trainings to other community groups on the often-invisible forms of abuse that their clients experience. WomenSV’s purpose is to augment, rather than replace, existing domestic violence services in Santa Clara County. 

According to WomenSV, approximately 35% of their clients have experienced the most lethal form of coercive control: strangulation. Escalating patterns of abuse may come in many forms, such as:

• Physical: kicking, punching, shoving, slapping, pushing, and any other acts which hurt the body.
• Sexual: calling vulgar names, criticizing body parts or sensuality, forced or pressured sexual acts, including rape.
• Emotional: assaults against self-esteem
• Verbal: name-calling, threats, put-downs.
• Psychological: causing one to feel as if he/she is "going crazy".
• Spiritual: attacking spiritual or religious beliefs.
• Financial: controlling and manipulating by threatening economic status and basic needs.
• Homophobic: threatening to "out" someone to people who do not know that person's sexual orientation.
• Immigration: using immigration status and fear of deportation to control.
• Destructive: acts actual or threatened assault of property or pets to scare.

Additional domestic violence services available in the County include:

• AACI Asian Women’s Home
• Community Solutions
• Maitri
• Next Door Solutions for Domestic Violence
• Family and Children’s Services, a division of Caminar
• YWCA Golden Gate Silicon Valley

According to the County’s Family Violence Division, domestic violence is the most under-reported crime in the country, with the actual incidence 5 times higher than is reported. Eighty percent of children who live in homes where domestic violence occurs witness the abuse. The National Domestic Violence Hotline [1-800-799-SAFE (7233)] is available 24/7 for individuals experiencing domestic violence, seeking resources or information, or questioning unhealthy aspects of their relationship.

“Too often,” said Simitian, “I hear people say, ‘Well, this isn’t really a problem for our community.’ And I have to tell them: Sadly, it is.” Simitian previously championed support for Family and Children’s Services, a division of Caminar, which provides services to domestic violence survivors in the North County. This latest proposal will be decided by the County Board of Supervisors at its June 17 meeting​.